Love and Ego and the Pain Body
8/26/18
Within each of us exists the capacity for love or hate. In the analogy with the two dogs, whichever one you feed will grow strongest. In other words, if you feed the hateful dog, it will grow strong. If you feed the loving animal, then that one instead will thrive. I believe that within each of us exists such a situation: the pain body and the love body.
These bodies are separate from ourselves yet very much a part of us like our organs. More accurately, they are part of the Ego which is a mental/emotional sense of self as a separate identity from other creatures or humans. The Ego plays an important role in personality because it represents who "you" are. When the Ego functions in a healthy way, it allows you to define boundaries, assert your desires and wishes and maintain high levels of self-esteem. When it functions in an unhealthy way, the Ego drives a personality completely self-centered, defensive, cruel, manipulative and superficial.
One example of something that causes an Ego to become unhealthy is an overactive pain body. The pain body exists as a collection of painful memories which fuel a constant fire of anger, resentment, rage, insecurity and aggression. The pain body lies seemingly dormant until triggered, then takes the Ego hostage, transforming "you" into an expression of pure destruction, where you might do or say anything to show others how much you suffer. And make them suffer too. The pain body gives a false sense of control because it is so familiar, but life need not to be so painful.
The only way to overcome an overactive pain body is to starve it. Instead of using words of damnation and hate, choose words of Kindness. Instead of behaving in a jealous, obsessive way, choose to let go of resentments and set personal happiness objectives and goals. As we learn in Madea Goes to Jail, Forgiveness is not for others, Forgiveness is for yourself. Make choices that promote high self-esteem such as exercise, eating fresh vegetables, prayer and meditation. Learn to Let it Go. Practice Kindness consistently enough and it turns into Love.
When we point at someone, we really point three fingers back at ourselves. If we behave lovingly towards others, it returns to us threefold. Love ignores the overly selfish demands of the Ego and puts others first. Love behaves with compassion and arms open in an embrace. Love sees the best in a situation and expresses positive observations. Love pours directly from the heart. Love is unconditional and does not care how much money you make or where you are from or what you look like. Love is a choice made hundreds or even thousands of times a day. Love is like a muscle that you can build and strengthen, but it takes some effort.
My book What's Your Value? essentially revolves around this goal. I assert that through exploration and strengthening of Core Values, we can build healthy Egos that support Love.
References and Suggested Readings
His Holiness the Dalai Lama. An Open Heart: Practicing Compassion in Everyday Life. U.S.A: Little, Brown and Company, 2001.
Madea Goes to Jail. Dir. Tyler Perry. Lionsgate, 2009. DVD.
Shimoff, Marci. Love for No Reason: 7 Steps to Creating a Life of Unconditional Love. New York, NY: Free Press, 2010.
Tolle, Eckhart. The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment. Vancouver, B.C: Namaste Pub, 2004.
Tolle, Eckhart. A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose. New York, NY: Dutton/Penguin Group, 2005.
Within each of us exists the capacity for love or hate. In the analogy with the two dogs, whichever one you feed will grow strongest. In other words, if you feed the hateful dog, it will grow strong. If you feed the loving animal, then that one instead will thrive. I believe that within each of us exists such a situation: the pain body and the love body.
These bodies are separate from ourselves yet very much a part of us like our organs. More accurately, they are part of the Ego which is a mental/emotional sense of self as a separate identity from other creatures or humans. The Ego plays an important role in personality because it represents who "you" are. When the Ego functions in a healthy way, it allows you to define boundaries, assert your desires and wishes and maintain high levels of self-esteem. When it functions in an unhealthy way, the Ego drives a personality completely self-centered, defensive, cruel, manipulative and superficial.
One example of something that causes an Ego to become unhealthy is an overactive pain body. The pain body exists as a collection of painful memories which fuel a constant fire of anger, resentment, rage, insecurity and aggression. The pain body lies seemingly dormant until triggered, then takes the Ego hostage, transforming "you" into an expression of pure destruction, where you might do or say anything to show others how much you suffer. And make them suffer too. The pain body gives a false sense of control because it is so familiar, but life need not to be so painful.
The only way to overcome an overactive pain body is to starve it. Instead of using words of damnation and hate, choose words of Kindness. Instead of behaving in a jealous, obsessive way, choose to let go of resentments and set personal happiness objectives and goals. As we learn in Madea Goes to Jail, Forgiveness is not for others, Forgiveness is for yourself. Make choices that promote high self-esteem such as exercise, eating fresh vegetables, prayer and meditation. Learn to Let it Go. Practice Kindness consistently enough and it turns into Love.
When we point at someone, we really point three fingers back at ourselves. If we behave lovingly towards others, it returns to us threefold. Love ignores the overly selfish demands of the Ego and puts others first. Love behaves with compassion and arms open in an embrace. Love sees the best in a situation and expresses positive observations. Love pours directly from the heart. Love is unconditional and does not care how much money you make or where you are from or what you look like. Love is a choice made hundreds or even thousands of times a day. Love is like a muscle that you can build and strengthen, but it takes some effort.
My book What's Your Value? essentially revolves around this goal. I assert that through exploration and strengthening of Core Values, we can build healthy Egos that support Love.
References and Suggested Readings
His Holiness the Dalai Lama. An Open Heart: Practicing Compassion in Everyday Life. U.S.A: Little, Brown and Company, 2001.
Madea Goes to Jail. Dir. Tyler Perry. Lionsgate, 2009. DVD.
Shimoff, Marci. Love for No Reason: 7 Steps to Creating a Life of Unconditional Love. New York, NY: Free Press, 2010.
Tolle, Eckhart. The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment. Vancouver, B.C: Namaste Pub, 2004.
Tolle, Eckhart. A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose. New York, NY: Dutton/Penguin Group, 2005.
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